Thursdayyyyy

Today is Thursday. Nothing happens on...Thuurrssddaayyysss. Except creepy old ladies stare at you in their car when you are biking home. If you don't believe me, try it in a week.

So let's write a story. It might suck. It probably does suck.

Once upon a time there was a person named Jason Bartholomew. Bartholomew was a greedy person. His selfish desires made him a fat, greedy, cruel, ugly, unloving, unloved, useless, poopy person. He had no life, and ran a lot each day. Running is boring, because you are repeatedly just...running. It gets kinda boring after 13.4 seconds.

Bartholomew almost had a friend. His name was Jason Bamidele. Bamidele was a strange person who liked to collect bugs, and sometimes eat them. Jason Bamidele was almost friends with Jason Bartholomew, but they didn't like each other. That's why they were almost friends.

One day, near the end of Bartholomew's short (15.25 year) life, Bartholomew found a crossbow. Some accidents happened, and Bartholomew's eye ended up in a fish bowl and his left arm somehow found its way in his large intestine.

Bamidele got depressed that their almost friend died, and used the same crossbow. Jason Bamidele's brains were scattered across the room, with flesh eating dogs having their favorite meal, steak. Just like pa makes steak. On the barbecue.

Alternate ending: Bartholomew had a tumor on his face. It ended up growing so big, that he couldn't see, smell, eat, or breath. He died of starvation. Bamidele ended up with a similar tumor, except on everywhere around his face. This built up pressure against his face, and eventually his face imploded.

THE END
Yay.
I mean, that story was horrible. Don't die kids.