I think my computer screams at me

I get chat message sounds from facebook when facebook isn't even open. My computer also screams when you push more than one key at once in a small text box.
And sometimes it just starts beeping randomly, and everyone that has any association with me (ingame, on a website at the same time as me ect....) starts telling me to stop. But it's not me, it's my stupid computer that runs windows vista because the song recording program won't work on windows 7.
AND THEN everything starts running at the same time; the disk drives all open and close at once, the usb ports start making the connected and disconnected noises, the fan goes super fast, the computer gets really hot, all the lights turn on, and the desktop flips itself with an inverted mouse.

I think my printer gave it these thoughts. These evil...horrid, demonic thoughts.

Maybe if we sing them Simon and Garfunkel it will all be better. And hand them a scoop of ice cream. No, not ice cream. Frogurt. Frozen yogurt. That's what nice fit people eat, and I guess technology needs to get fit. I hope they don't pass along these evil thoughts through the Simon and Garfunkel or the Frogurt though. That would suck.